If you find yourself more worried than you should be about having your teen lazing around all summer, after a not-so-great semester of school, then consider an exchange student program. Actually, even if you have an industrious honor roll student, consider this option.

But I lead with the more troubled teens, or just the ones without any goals, because people too often think that exchange student programs are best suited for college kids, or over-achieving kids with a demonstrated interest in international affairs.

I’ll argue that kids who seem to care about very little but a circle of friends you’re not too sure about, and have no clue about the value of money, might be the best candidates of all. Or kids who claim to be loners, but are really just lonely. Alienation, indifference, laziness, rebellion, depression—they’re all signs that there’s a great need for perspective, a shot of energy, a break in some psychological impasse. They need some way of finding grounding and focus.

A good way of accomplishing that is taking them out of their comfort zone and giving them an adventure that is also highly regulated and educational. That’s a tough thing to find. Spending a summer, or a semester, in a foreign country will do it.

I know I tend to magnify the money lesson in everything, but honestly, when you’re not living with your parents, and spend a lot of time somewhere, you’re going to learn about managing money in a very profound way—beyond your years, because your awareness isn’t just raised about your own little world of
discretionary expenses. You get an education about cost of living. Period. Why they don’t make being an exchange student a pre-college requirement for teens is a little hard for me to understand.

I’ve had parents tell me that they don’t want to reward their teen’s poor effort in school with the freedom of roaming around Paris for the summer, or escaping a semester of the school year. They think if teens are having trouble with their teachers, this teaches them to run away, instead of digging in and working it out. I understand that. And that may be the case.

But many times battling with your teen won’t produce a winner on either side. And sometimes when they’re at their worst, when you honestly don’t like them, they need the most help, an attitudinal chiropractic adjustment. Change of scene could be the answer, at least in some cases.

Here are a few benefits of being an exchange student. Take a look and see if it would be good for your teen. And check out this Exchange Student website to get a feel for how institutionalized this tradition has become. It’s reliable, organized, and highly educational.

1. Being an exchange student is a world-class college application and resume booster. Maybe your teen could use that? First, the college application. I don’t need to tell you how competitive it is out there for teens, and international living is a great differentiator. Also, think long term: International experience in the job market will only become more relevant as time goes on, and it’s getting harder to come by in universities because of program budget cuts.

2. Here’s my favorite, of course: It will teach any teen the value of their own money from Day 1. No kid will pester and harp on host parents for every little thing they want. Instantly, your teen will look at what things cost, count money, and think before spending. It’s akin to a survival instinct when you’re in a foreign place. How else do you raise this sort of awareness in 24 hours?

3. Macrocosmic money lessons: Being overseas teaches teens the value of goods and services in other country, and in comparison, their own country. If they think gas is expensive here, wait until they see what it’s like in Paris, or Amsterdam. In Paris, gas is about 2.3 times what it is here. In Amsterdam it’s even more. I bought gas yesterday at $2.67 (I was in California last week, and it was $3.09.), so it’s a whopping $6.14 per gallon in Paris.

Europeans tax gas up to 75% of its cost, so it’s hefty. Your kid will get indignant at first, actually ask why they tax so much, and while looking for an answer, they’ll see what such a tax encourages people to do: walk, bike, take the subways and trains. There’s an environmental thought. Lessons about attitude toward money are so well taught on a global basis. There’s so much perspective, and insight into our own habits as a culture, not just a strict mathematical cost proposition. That’s what the gas money lesson is here. Crunching numbers, using the word responsibility a million times.

I will warn you, though: Your teens will come home so savvy, they’ll start nagging you about your own wasteful habits.

4. Happiness. Even if your teen resists going overseas, chances are if they’re unhappy at home, stuck in a rut, this will at least cause some change. Maybe the effect will be that your teen will love being overseas, and have experiences that give him or her a positive perspective of home life. They will miss home, no matter what. Or maybe they won’t love the experience overseas, and will have a new perspective about home based on that experience. Either way, it gives them time to think, to find themselves, take responsibility for their own behavior, and test and learn to trust themselves.

Any exchange student stories out there, either positive or negative? Would love to hear them.

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